[Spoken Intro]
Yo, yo, yo! This is the story of Henry!
Just a broke cowboy trying his best
Shows up every Friday with a smile and three dollars
This is poor Henry, everybody’s favorite guy!

[Verse 1]
Henry rolled into the Velvet Room with a hopeful grin (GRIN!)
Had a dream and a Colt 45, thought maybe tonight he’d win (WIN!)
Asked a dancer for a lap dance, she smiled real sweet and said “Ten, hon”
Henry counted out his quarters—“I got… I got three, is that enough?”
Three dollars! That’s like… halfway there, right?
He’d buy one cheap beer and make it last all night (ALL NIGHT!)
Chatting with the dancers, making ’em all laugh with his dumb jokes
Henry wasn’t mean about it, just… perpetually broke (BROKE!)

[Chorus]
Poor Henry, poor Henry (POOR HENRY!)
Got a big heart but a small bank account
Tries so hard but he just can’t mount
Poor Henry, Henry’s hopeless (HE’S HOPELESS!)
Broken revolver, broker wallet too
But he shows up like he always do
Poor Henry, yeah poor Henry (POOR HENRY!)
He’s got dreams, got swagger, got NO cash at all
But everybody loves him in that hall (IN THAT HALL!)

[Verse 2]
He’d walk up to a dancer like “Hey, can I buy you a drink?” (BUY YOU A DRINK!)
She’d say “Sure, Henry!” ‘cause she liked the guy
He’d order water for himself, beer for her on his tab
I’m treating! I’m a GENTLEMAN! (YEAH, YEAH!)
Girl would laugh and pat his head—Henry felt like a KING
Even though his wallet was basically empty string
He’d tell her about his revolver, how it needs to warm up first (WARM IT UP!)
She’d nod along, knowing Henry meant well throughout it all

[Verse 3]
So there was this Indian at camp, right? Telling jokes…
Henry got so worked up—not in a mean way, just passionate, you know?
Pulled his revolver out, things got crazy, suffocation happened (OH NO!)
Yeah… that was… that was awkward…
Came back to the club like “Whoa, I got a STORY!” (I GOT A STORY!)
The girls were like “Henry, maybe don’t lead with that one, bud”
But they still poured him water and let him sit around (SIT AROUND!)

[Chorus]
Poor Henry, poor Henry (POOR HENRY!)
Got some baggage but his heart’s in the right place
Got that goofy smile on his face
Poor Henry, Henry’s lovable (HE’S LOVABLE!)
Even with his broken gun and empty pockets too
Everybody’s rooting for you
Poor Henry, yeah poor Henry (POOR HENRY!)
He shows up every Friday and he tries, tries, tries
And honestly we like that guy (WE LIKE THAT GUY!)

[Bridge - Call & Response]
I got no money! (NO MONEY!)
My gun don’t work! (DON’T WORK!)
I killed a guy with my revolver! (HE DID!)
But I got GOOD INTENTIONS! (GOOD INTENTIONS!)
That’s gotta count for something, right? (RIGHT!)
Poor Henry! We all love poor Henry! (WE DO! WE DO!)

[Verse 4]
The bartender saves him a seat by the window (BY THE WINDOW!)
“Henry’s coming tonight,” they say with a smile
He walks in with his three dollars and his broken dreams
Tonight could be different, right? (COULD BE!)
Tonight I might actually have FOUR dollars! (FOUR DOLLARS!)
The dancers wave at him—not mocking, just genuine (GENUINE!)
Henry’s not trying to impress nobody, he just SHOWS UP (SHOWS UP!)
That’s kind of beautiful in a weird way (WEIRD WAY!)

[Verse 5]
He’d check his bank account with a little prayer (PRAY!)
Come on, baby, maybe there’s a deposit…
Nope, still three dollars and some change (SAME OLD!)
Same as last Friday. That’s cool. (THAT’S COOL!)
Back to the Velvet Room, back to his table (BACK AGAIN!)
Back to making everybody laugh with his ridiculous stories
Henry’s not getting rich, Henry’s not getting lucky
But Henry’s getting love, and that’s worth something, right? (IT IS!)

[Final Chorus]
Poor Henry, poor Henry (POOR HENRY!)
Got a gun that overheats and shoes that are worn
But he shows up every Friday morn (EVERY FRIDAY!)
Poor Henry, Henry’s our guy (HE’S OUR GUY!)
Broke and broken but he’s still alive
Doing his best and we don’t mind
Poor Henry, yeah poor Henry (POOR HENRY!)
He’s got nothing but he’s got us (HE’S GOT US!)
And honestly that’s enough (THAT’S ENOUGH!)

[Outro]
That’s Henry, man! Our Henry!
Cold gun, empty wallet, but a warm smile every time
He’ll be back next Friday…
And we’ll be there for him…
Poor Henry… we love you, Henry… POOR HENRY!
(POOR HENRY! POOR HENRY! POOR HENRY!)